A little over a year ago I experienced a moment of clarity. It was a combination of sadness and emptiness that was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Because of the work I do in the community to promote depression awareness, I was prepared, and endeavored to do, a “mental inventory” of my current state. That process suggested to me that I was experiencing one of the facets of grief following the numbness and shock of losing my son to cancer. Time has passed now and I would like to share part of that journey with you.
It all starts with a life lesson that I learned early in childhood when I was living in Colombia. My older sister didn’t want to play with me and I often felt bored because it was unsafe to explore the city and otherwise we had very few options for outdoor play. I would, of course, complain to my parents about the situation but they always made a point to teach me to take responsibility for my boredom. So I would proceed to sulk and daydream and when I was bored again I would just look for books to read, often just landing on the encyclopedia – everyone’s idea of a good read!